Sunday, October 5, 2014

11 Things You Should Not Say to Redhead On a First Date (Or To Anyone...Ever...)

11 Things You Should Not Say to Redhead On a First Date (Or To Anyone...Ever...)

A list of things that have actually been said to me or said to one of my redheaded friends..


  1.  “Are you a natural redhead?  Is your hair real?”  Okay, whether or not you are natural redhead—which I’m not—no girl wants to be asked if she is “real” or not. My hair was red as a child and then darkened as I got older—not that that’s any of your business! Every redhead has heard this one before.

  
What a stud.

        2.  “Are you worried that your children will have red hair?”     Um, first of all we JUST established that I am not a natural redhead so my chances of having redheaded babies are slim. But also, screw you! Red hair is beautiful! And redheaded babies are precious!


  3. “Oh, so you must be Irish.” This generalization gets to me. There are lots of redheads from all over the world. Including Asia and Africa

       4. “Sooo, is it true what they say about redheads?” What do they say? That I am a freaking majestic unicorn? Because then yes, “they” would be correct.

       5.  “You’re a redhead so you must be _________________ (insert stereotype here—bad tempered, wild, kinky).” No. Just no.
This woman is a goddess among men.

       6. “Does the carpet match the drapes?” Oh, I am so glad you asked because at this rate you won’t be finding out.


  7. “May I call you ______________ (Red, Ging, Ginger, Carrottop...)?” Only if you are trying to die.

“      8. Do you have a soul?” A guy I had just met actually asked me this recently. Take note: asking someone if they have a soul is the worst pick-up line ever and I will most likely try to shank you.


  9.  “Redheads aren’t attractive.” Yes, I have heard this before. If this is how you feel then get out of my face. Also, I am attaching a few photos of why this is absolutely false.

       10. “Can you go out in the sun?” Actually, thank you for the concern. I get burned pretty easily. BUT WHY WOULD YOU BRING THAT UP ON A DATE?

This is literally the opposite
of being unattractive.
        11. “Have you ever been told that you look like [insert famous redhead here]?” I usually get Emma Stone. I take that as a compliment. But we don’t all look alike. I know for a fact that I do not look anything like Julia Roberts, Molly Ringwald, or Amy Adams.


Look, redheads, natural or not, only make up about 1% of the world’s population. So stop trying to ask the most obnoxious questions possible, stop what you are doing, and worship us as the demigods that we are. Stereotypes are stupid and saying them out loud won’t get you anywhere with me or any other self-respecting redhead. So, gentleman, be a pal and just say things like, “Wow! Your hair is gorgeous!” or “Whatever the color of your hair may be I would love to get to know you as a person!” Xo.

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